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Friday, September 17, 2010

Veggies (Subtitled: I mention bacon in this post approximately 11,987 times)

Have I ever told you that I was once a vegetarian? When I was a teenager, I announced to my family that meat was murder and I would no longer be eating food with a face.

...Or, as it turns out, any actual vegetables.

I've always admired those that can stand by their ethical convictions and not be swayed by temptations like bacon. These same people have found a satisfaction in life with the spartan diets that I envy, and I wish I could emulate, but that my hedonistic nature can't wrap its mind around.

I mean, I really like bacon. Bacon is God's way of saying He loves you! How can I commit to a diet or ethical stance that prohibits the consumption of God's love by way of BACON?!


As I mentioned previously, the whole end goal of my life list is to:

                               A. Make a decent living from my artistic endeavors
                               B. Live off the grid

In my mind, living of the grid means living in a sustainable way, one  that does not unnecessarily tap into resources that aren't essential. Since a hell of a lot of good farm land goes toward the raising and grazing of commercial cattle, it seems to me that one step toward living off the grid is to step away from consuming meat (bacon isn't meat, is it?).

Good idea in theory, but did I mention that I am naturally a hedonist? And I really like steak. And bacon.

Knowing my nature and knowing that austerity is just not a lifestyle choice I can embrace, I'm going to go ahead and try this vegetarian thing [again] anyway -- for real this time, too -- but with a few of conditions:

-Because I'm allergic to most alternate protein sources, like eggs, I will allow myself fish from time to time. But only if it's ethically farmed or not fished from endangered groups.
-Dairy products are also allowed. I said vegetarian, not vegan. And yes, I know, a lot of farm land also goes to grazing commercial dairy cattle, too. Baby steps, y'all. Baby steps.                          

-I am only initially committing to vegetarianism for 30 days. That's right, only a month.
-I get two bacon days in that month.

I figure quitting meat is like quitting smoking -- you have to set yourself achievable goals. If I absolutely forbid myself a couple of cheat days, I'll be hoarking down five pounds of bacon, while hiding in my closet -- which is where the EMTs will find me after I go into cardiac arrest. If I tell myself that I'm completely changing my lifestyle to become vegetarian, then I will rebel. I know me, I don't even like self-imposed rules (and I wonder where The Trolls get their anti-authoritarianism from). 30 days is definitely do-able.

My life list goal of growing my own vegetables will come in handy, too, because I'll have ready access to things like peppers, carrots, lettuce and tomatoes -- all organically raised. Plus, this whole veggie schtick will give me the opportunity to try new and inventive recipes. If all goes according to plan, The Trolls will learn about making healthier choices with their diets, too.

Anything I try out, recipe-wise, I'll post on here so y'all can give it a whirl (because sharing is caring). Rest assured, I'm a foodie. I know from good eats. If it sucks, I won't put it up here.

30 Days begins... well, yesterday.

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