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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Pro Tip: How NOT to Do Valentine's Day

I'll admit it: I love Valentine's Day. At my core, I'm a hopeless romantic and love everything to do with love. I used to pussyfoot around the topic and pretend it wasn't a big deal, but I got tired of being disappointed all the time.

When The Boyfriend™ and I first started dating, I was forthright about Valentine's day being a thing for me. He was pretty forthright about not liking it, so we found a compromise. We'd keep it small scale and homemade and call it a day. That lasted exactly ONE Valentine's Day.

The Nugget's birthday weekend was not cheap for either The Boyfriend™ or me, so I said "hey just make me a card." The Boyfriend™ was all "cool! " So this morning arrives and there's nothing. I figure he'll last minute it, but it'll be ready for me when I get home. He last minutes everything and I've gotten used to it.

The Boyfriend™ sent me an email late this afternoon of a screenshot of flowers and a "love you baby". I thought it was sweet... But something didn't feel right. I thought "uh-oh! This is his valentine... Grrreat."

Sadly, I was right. Worse, we're now fighting. Happy Valentine's Day.

Here's the thing guys: 363 days of the year you are under no obligation to make the woman you love feel special (you are obligated to make her feel special on her birthday, too). 364 days of the year you are under no obligation to make her feel like she's the most desirous, sexy thing in the world. When you're in a relationship that revolves around home, kids and work, there's not a whole lot of time to be romantic. That's what Valentine's Day is for. And for most women, all they want is to know the man they love cares enough to spend ten minutes getting a card or flowers. That ten minutes was put into a thought that resembled wanting to be remotely romantic.

And yes it's contived and obligatory. But when the rest of your life revolves around realities like pee on the toilet seat and runny noses, contrived and obligatory is a damn sight better than nothing at all.

And no. No an email at 3:30 in the afternoon does NOT cut it. Make the damn effort for the person... If for no other reason than to spare yourself from the argument later.

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