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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

State Of The Union - Fearlessly Commentating!

The Boyfriend™ and I are in bed, watching the state of the union address. I'm having a hard time paying attention to it because Obama is throwing out a whole bunch of politi-speak and I'd rather play "guess the inner monologue", where I alternatively narrate the expressions of the people in attendance at the speech.

But because I'm all about political commentary LIVE WHILE IT'S HAPPENING, I'm gonna give you a to the minute update as the speech goes on

Creepy Old Guy: ayuhyuhyuhyuh... Hehehehehe....ayuhyuhyuhyuh.... I can see down that girl's shirt. I'm gonna keep clapping and watch her boobies wiggle.

Average American Lady: ohmigodthepresidentjustmentionedmeinbisspeechandimsittingnextothefirstlady!!! OhandihaveCRAZYeyes!!

Speaker of the House: I wonder if I can fit in a tanning session tonight? Do you think that Obama would notice if I gave him a wedgie? Oh wait! I need to pay attention. GTL Y'ALL!

Laurene Jobs: Seriously? Steve is DEAD. Can we let if GO already! (eye roll.. No seriously, she rolled her eyes)

Transvestite: .... (yeah, there was a cross dresser there)

Joe Biden is looking less and less pleased the more Obama speaks. I think he's trying to figure out how he can donkey punch Obama without the secret service taking him out.

Bryan Ritterby...another average citizen... Can't keep up with the conversation. I think he played "Sloth" in "The Goonies"

OH! Just spotted! Mr. Burns!! Eeexcellent!

(I wonder if Obama is farting right now. I'd hate to be Biden or the Speaker if he was)

I thought Andy Rooney was dead, but it turns out he's just been hanging out in Congress.. So. It's LIKE he was dead.

Timothy Geithner, The Treasury Secretary looks he sucked lemons AND forgot to use his hemorrhoid cream.

Joe Biden is now catching up on his Words with Friends games....

Obama made a joke about spilled milk and Michelle looked REALLY embarrassed. You know that Barack wrote that one himself.

Richard Cordray does NOT look thrilled with his job description.... Protecting the consumers from deceptive loan practices.

The House Majority Leader appears to be a ferret. It's hard to tell under all of that "Just For Men" Black no 2

Obama is talking about shared responsibility, about billionaires paying at LEAST the same tax rate as their secretaries, congressional bipartisanship and evening the playing field and delivering on the promises of the WWII generation and reducing the federal government. Since I'm currently watching this on Fox [not] news, you know Obama is going to be labeled a socialist.

And as great as this campaign speech is....cuz that's all it is... I'm still wondering what the state of the union is.

(Wow.... Hilary looks OLD... And what's with the grudge clapping. Geez, Lady!)

Lieberman couldn't be here tonight, so he sent his Muppet lookalike to sit in for him.

And there ya go! The state of the union!

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