Full Moon, Front Porch and Musing

The Fair just passed in my neck of the woods, in Massachusetts. I miss it. I miss the roundhouse full of kitschy folk art, pies, and the largest produce a man can grow. I miss the livestock pens. I miss the rides and fair fries. I miss the annual parade that announces the fair's beginning - and the unofficial beginning of Fall.

I miss FALL. I miss the chilly nights, the foggy mornings, the three layers of clothing required (so you can peel it off as the day progresses). I miss the going in that happens as a natural response to the changing season - readying yourself for the upcoming winter. I miss the smell of leaves and chimney smoke. I miss the changing colors of the mountains. I miss a REAL Halloween.

If it wasn't obvious, I miss home. The urgency to get back there had sort of waned the last couple of months. Once The Trolls came back from their visit, I got wrapped up in trying to reacclimatize to their rhythm, while trying to maintain focus on The Two Year plan, and fell behind a bit. I got a little lost in the what's happening now and less focused on the where I want to go.

But more and more, I feel the pull back home. The NEED to be with My People is strong. The need for my children to be raised in a nurturing, like-minded community is imperative. I need to feel like a part of a community again- even if it drives me nuts that everyone knows everything all the time. You can't wipe your ass without your phone ringing so your neighbor can ask you what you had for dinner. I ran to Florida, among other reasons, to escape from that, but now I would give anything to have it again.

I need to buckle down and focus. It's likely that I over committed myself to too many things, in an effort to get back home quicker. But I think if I simplify and focus on one or two very do-able things, I'll get to where I want to go. Slow and steady wins the race, after all.

To Do by October 13:
1) Get Products up on etsy
2) Fix sewing machines so they work properly so I can have more inventory on hand.
3) Devote Sundays to cooking for the week, so I have more time. :)
4) Start advertising etsy shop.

Speaking of advertising, I'm still toting with the idea of shutting down my Facebook page. It seems unnecessary and chaos creating. But social media is where it's at these days, and a good place to advertise the etsy shop. Decisions, decisions.

In the mean time, I am going to go do some research on a topic that I'm going to keep close to the vest right now. If/when it starts coming to fruition, I'll let you know. Make that item number five on my to do list.

A Month of Pictures

I have no idea what day this is. I DO know I've been woefully remiss with my daily updates.

Here's what I've been up to. I either really dig it or really hate it. I haven't decided yet.

A Month of Pictures - Kidden!

A Month of Pictures - My World (Thoughts on Irene)

This sketch was one I started while The Boyfriend™, Trolls and I were back home, in June. We were enjoying the first of two or three idyllic days - just enough sun, not too hot - taking it easy after having driven for two days. The Trolls, of course, were antsy after having been cooped up in the car for far too long, so I decided to take us all to a local swimming hole at The Pumping Station.

The river was far too cold for adults (and barely warm enough for two Trolls used to the bathwater-like temperatures of the Gulf of Mexico), but we Were enjoying the energy of the moment and the fresh air.

As The Trolls dared each other to get in the water first (and tried goading The Boyfriend™ and me in, too), I got out my sketchbook to capture the covered bridge that ran the spance of that stretch of the river. My sketch time was short-lived, though, because we were soon off to other adventures, but I didn't think too much of it. In fact, I remember thinking "I'll finish this the next time I'm here", not realizing that very soon the bridge wouldn't be there for me to sketch again.

It's just a bridge, but it's also a piece of history - of MY history. Of thousands of people's histories. Generations of kids - including my own - swam under that bridge. Generations of kids made out with each other in the cozy confines of that bridge - including The Boyfriend™ and me. Every year, a new group of adolescents dared each other to sit in that bridge and wait for the ghost of Eunice Williams.

The bridge is gone now. Washed away during the flooding brought on by Irene. It makes me sad. I won't get to finish this sketch, while sitting on the banks of the river underneath it.

I suppose I'm being dramatic - a covered bridge washing away is by no means comparable to the levies breaking after katrina. But that a piece of history is gone. A thing that has always been there - part of the fabric of my life - is gone.

If nothing else, the urgency to get back home is even stronger. I don't want anymore unfinished sketches in my book.

A Month of Photos - My world... Day... Something

I've been remiss in this month of thing. I blame The Boyfriend™. Actually, no. I don't. He's been a damn dream putting up with me. My head has been such a CF lately and I've been taking out a LOT of baggge on him. Ahem.

Here's hoping he forgives me. LOL!

And here's a photo from back home. Where the Two Year Plan will come to fruition for us.

A Month of Pictures - My World, Days 12 &13

OK... So it's only one picture, but the ominous green glow in it should count for something.

My head, she is not a happy place these days. I can't get out of my own way. I keep trying to claw my way out of the hole, but it's like free climbing a shale wall: it looks like a solid foot hold, but it'll crumble the second you put any weight on it.

I know it'll pass. Off and on, my whole life, I've dealt with mild depression. I won't say that my coping mechanisms have gotten better with age, but at least I recognize that when the wall is crumbling, I need to stop - just for a minute - and examine why. The only way out is through.

Upside: I do some pretty amazing work during these periods. So I turn to my brushes and pots of ink and canvas... And I process. I let the canvas speak for me.

A Month of Pictures - My World, Day 12

The Boyfriend™ teaching the The Nugget how to play chess. My heart, it's melting!!!!